The Betty and Benny Hill abduction

Three days after this photograph was taken, Benny and Betty regained consciousness in hospital.

Betty could not remember taking the photo but the bruised imprint of the camera on her face told a different story. Benny vaguely remembers being taken roughly from behind and suffering a mighty pounding.

The official medical report compiled by Dr Ink, only confirms that the injuries were stampede in nature but under hypnosis the couple revealed startling new information concerning the alien-cow conspiracy.

The Betty and Benny Hill abduction 

Betty and Benny Hill were an American couple who shot to fame after they claimed to have been abducted by an extraterrestrial riding on a cow. The couple’s unbelievable story, commonly called the Abduction on the Hill and occasionally, in hushed tones, as the Zeta Rectum Incident, was that they were innocent victims of an out of control cattle fiddling experiment. Theirs was the first widely-publicized claim of the Alien / Bovine conspiracy, adapted into the bestselling book, The Infernal Journey and a made for television moovie The Beast of Benny Hill.

False-color composite image by NASA

 A bright ball of light in the sky 

The Hills were driving back from a vacation upstate. Because the summer tourist season was over, there were few other cars on the road as they traveled south. They observed a bright point of light in the sky. Initially, they thought that they were observing a shooting star, only it fell upward and stopped near the gibbous moon. Benny lost control and drove straight off Route 555. Betty reasoned that she was observing a satellite and screamed at Benny to regained control of the car. Worried about the presence of bulls, Benny grabbed his pistol. Betty, whose sister had confided to her about having seen a flying saucer several years earlier, observed the object through binoculars as it moved across the face of the gibbous moon, flashing.

Benny, who had not observed multicolored lights before, thought it was a conventional aircraft. As Betty was perplexed by the sodden unconventional appearance of the objects incoming flight-path.

Cow-like figures 

Approximately one mile south of Inksville, the huge craft rapidly descended toward the Hills’ vehicle, causing Benny to make skid marks in the middle of the prairie. Opening the car door for a closer look, he pocketed his pistol and grabbed his binoculars. The craft descended to approximately 8-10 feet above the Hills’ 1957 Chevrolet Bel End and covered the entire windshield through which Betty was observing the craft with a milky liquid.

Benny slipped away from the vehicle and slid closer to the flashing object, which shifted like a pendulum from the west side of the car to the east above the adjacent field. Using the binoculars, Benny claimed to have seen about 8 to 11 cow like figures who were peering out of the craft’s windows, seeming to look at him. Suddenly, with military precision, all but one of the figures moved to what appeared to be an instrument panel as though they were about to perform an important task. The one remaining figure continued to look at Benny and communicated a message to him, “stay where you are and keep looking at my udders.” At that instant red lights on what appeared to be bat-wing fins began to telescope out of the sides of the craft and a long ramp structure descended from the bottom of the UFO. A cow slid down the ramp with a humanoid figure desperately trying to hold on. The mooing mad cow rapidly approached to what Benny estimated was within 5-8 feet overhead and 5-10 feet away from him.

Betty’s magic eye 3D stereo star map

Suddenly overwhelmed with fear, Benny tore the binoculars away from his eyes and ran back to his car, shouting, “The cows, they’re going to capture us!” Prior to entering the car, he observed the object again shift its location to directly above the vehicle. He drove away at high speed, telling Betty to look out for the cow. She rolled down the window and looked up, but saw only darkness above them. Benny was afraid that the ship was hovering directly over the car and blocking Betty’s view of the stars.

Ring of fire 

Suddenly overtaken by the flaming cow and its small ashen faced passenger the Hills stopped the car again. Petrified they got out of the car to take a photograph. The Hills continued watching the erratic spectacle, until it came even closer. The cow mooed angrily as it sporadically obscured the mountain peaks, it seemed to be moving in udder unison with the topography. It dipped in front of the twin peaks and then descended slowly in their direction. At one point the horns appeared to land on top of Betty but quickly began moving again. The last thing they remember was it receding away, it resembled the flight pattern of a bat on fire.

 image taken from the AlienInk Postcard Collection