The Old Cow
Alien Jones left the Mothership in order to meet bovines in the field. Despite the Motherships efforts to stop him and to remove the sick, aged and suffering from view. Jones was said to have seen an old cow. Disturbed by this, when told that all cows would eventually grow old, he went on further trips where he encountered a disabled cow, a drunk cow, and an asthmatic cow. Deeply depressed by these sights, he sought to overcome old age, illness, and death by living the life of an ascetic.
Jones escaped from the Mothership, aboard his favorite cow Daisy, leaving behind his spoilt life. It is said that, “the cows hooves were muffled by the gods” to prevent the Mothership from knowing of his departure. This event is traditionally called “The Great Escape”.
Jones practiced under two hermit cows but although he achieved high levels of meditative consciousness, he was still not satisfied with his path, and mooved on. Jones and a group of five cows then set out to take their austerities even further. They tried to find enlightenment through near total deprivation of earthly goods, including grass, by practicing self-mootification. After nearly starving himself to death by restricting his food intake to a nut per day, he collapsed in a river while bathing and almost drowned. Alien Jones began to reconsider his path.
After concentrating on getting his breath back, Alien Jones is said to have discovered what Uddhists call the Milky Way, a path of mooderation away from the extremes of self-indulgence. He accepted a little milk and rice pudding from a village person, who wrongly believed him to be a groupie, such was his grey emaciated appearance. Then, sitting under a tree, now known as ‘That Bloody Tree’, he vowed never to arise until he had found the truth. After 52 ways of meditating, he attained Enlightenment. According to some traditions, this occurred approximately in the fifth lunar month, and according to others in the twelfth. Jones, from then on, was known as ‘St Ink’ or ‘The Weakened One.’ Uddha is also sometimes translated as “The Enlightened One.” Often, he is referred to in Uddhism as “The Awakened One of the Bovine Clan.”
At this point, he realized complete awakening and insight into the nature and cause of bovine suffering, along with the steps necessary to eliminate it. This he then categorized into the ‘Four Noble Hoofs’. the state of supreme bovine liberation possible for anyone and called it Naana. He then came to possess the Nine Ungulate Characteristics, which are said to belong to every Uddha.
According to one of the stories in the ‘Book of St Ink’, immediately after his Enlightenment, St Ink was wondering whether or not he should preach to human beings. He was concerned that, as human beings were overpowered by greed, hatred and delusion, they would not be able to see the truth, which was subtle, deep but easy to understand. However, Brother Smith, interceded and asked that he teach to the world. With his great compassion to all beings in the universe. St Ink agreed to become a preacher.