Archive for Advertisements
Boneafide mechanically recovered chopped and refashioned reconstituted slurry in a hurry.
Staff flipping burgers at Slack D’s Fast food restaurant are flipping mad as mad cows. All because of the Hells Aliens Bovine Gang. “Once they start on the milkshakes you know there’s going to be a bit of bother.” moaned a new employee the Aliens have nicknamed Spotty.
“They call me Pizza Face to my face and I’m the manager.” said the angry manager.
That’s the sound of a man spilling the strongest smelling bleach in the universe.
Flush Gordon. Guaranteed to kill in 24 hours, or squirt neat, to kill on contact.
‘Consumer tests of Flush Gordon Bleach, resulted in an unfortunate double blind experiment on our abductees.’ admitted Alien Jones.
‘This is nothing to worry about.’ said Alien Smith. ‘No one will get hurt if they follow the disclaimer to the letter. The awesome killing power of Flush Gordon, the strongest smelling bleach in the universe, far outweigh the many dangers.’
Alien Smith & Jones claim to be the modern day Bleach Boys after inventing this killer app to clean the Motherships minging toilet. ‘Its true, no toilet can survive a brush with Flush Gordon.’ tweeted the Mothership. ‘If they can sell this, they’ll try and sell anything.’ she warned.
Flush Gordon, ALIVE ? and still clinging after 24 hours. This is our new number one killer of number two’s. The scourer of the uni-bend. You can’t beat it, but you can flush it. Drains down holes in all Inkcontinents. To the rim and beyond.
Endorsed by Andy A Hole
Flush – a-ah – cleaner of the universe
Flush – a-ah – it’ll clean everyone of us
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Flush – a-ah – it’s a miracle
Flush – a-ah – cleaning the impossible
Alien Smith launched his solo career today and says its his brother fault.
The Wet Shitboys finally split after a huge punch-up in Inksville last night.
It’s a sad, sad day for Shit Rock as the two brothers brawling marked the end of The Summer Of Milk and Kindness, even before it began.
It all went wrong before their slot had even started with a furious backstage argument. Alien Jones stormed into the dressing room wielding a jobbie like a axe. “He nearly took my wig off with it.” Smith said.
A witness in the Wet Camp said: “It all kicked off after a few jobbies where thrown back and forward between them.” It got totally out of hand very quickly and their jobbies just exploded. Alien Smith said: “It’s with great relief to tell you that I quit this shit tonight. I simply can not go on working with Alien Jones a day longer.
But last night Alien Jones was insisting to his herd that he would keep the band going without his twin brother. The climactic row also led to Jones throwing a fat one at his brother, which splattered against a young waiting fan and his parents, shortly before they were due to go on stage.
A spokesman for the band said: “We are all just so sad that it has come to such a messy end. Those are big jobbies that I’ve got to clear up and the biggest one hit that fan.
Alien Smith blamed the Wet Shit Boys split on Alien Jones who now sings along with The Chemical Toilet Brothers.
Image provided by the Alien Ink inc. Poster & Postcard
Dr.Ink’s latest fizzy, milky ink drink has creamed the competition. Coke and Pepsi, have both lost the tasteless challenge to Dr.Ink’s new carbon dated ink drink. “It’s totally adequate!” said Dr.Ink. Tasteless and now safe to drink, all without the need to think.
Why@burp and Dr.Ink