The King of Poop is Alive!
The Probe can exclusively reveal the awful truth, that the ‘King of Poop’ is alive! And that he must be really crapping it, wherever he is? Because this Probe has the latest video of Andy A Hole setting his wigs on fire and it is no accident. He is not dead and he is not ‘walking on the moon’ like his spoon Guru, St.Ink promised his fans. Persistent probing reveals the ‘King of Poops’ desperate plan of joining the richest artists that ever lived but are all now dead, by faking* his own DEATH, with the help of his long time family fizzy physician, Dr.Ink.
Dr.Ink’s involvement in this? The worlds worst artistic re-brand, ever! Is as unbelievable as the death certificate he signed and the five autopsies he performed. Incoherent, incontinent and in custody, Dr.Ink’s only slurred statement so far was, ‘eyes, nose, nothing, all gone.’ More persistent probing of Dr.Ink’s Private Places has uncovered new plastic moulding equipment and a empty bottle of Flush Gordon ** The Police have released 27 Photo Fit – I.D.s for the King of Poops possible new identity. All are paler in complexion and 27 of them have bigger noses.
The whereabouts of Andy A Hole, a.k.a. The King of Poop is as yet unknown, but rest assured, with an ego as big as his, he’ll be showing his new face off before the cows come home.
* No beans involved.
** The worlds strongest smelling bleach.