Archive for April, 2012
The Soap Everybody Watches
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A squeaky clean advertisement
Over the years, old soaps have been little more than “chewing-gum for the eyes” viewers have been condemned for their addiction to this so-called mindless form of entertainment. By using soap as a form of escapism.
So why is this soap for Greys so popular? Is it because it’s finally ended the segregation between the Whites and the Coloreds?
Something incredible seems to occur amongst people of any color who watch Alien Ink Soap Powder as they become united in the spirit of common things. In the time between machine wash episodes, Ink Soap viewers speculate about the directions that the clothes will tumble, then produce their own theories that can only be tested by watching the wash unfold. Regular Alien Ink Soap Powder watchers begin to regard themselves as people with a degree of mastery in their subject; positively empowered when pitted against someone less knowledgeable than themselves.
Alien Ink Soaps are unique in that watching them seems to have become a skilled activity, that demands general knowledge of soap conventions, The more one watches this soap, the more one has to do the wash on a daily basis.
Alien Ink Soap Powder is the most popular form of brain washing on the planet. It now seems that this soap has succeeded in capturing the global imagination. There may also be a chance that this soap popularity is all part of a conspiracy on the part of the producers Alien Ink. Indeed, watching a soap that one is not familiar with can be a profoundly alienating experience.
Flush, ah ahhaaaaaaaow!!!
Posted by: | CommentsThat’s the sound of a man spilling the strongest smelling bleach in the universe.
Advertisement
Flush Gordon. Guaranteed to kill in 24 hours, or squirt neat, to kill on contact.
‘Consumer tests of Flush Gordon Bleach, resulted in an unfortunate double blind experiment on our abductees.’ admitted Alien Jones.
‘This is nothing to worry about.’ said Alien Smith. ‘No one will get hurt if they follow the disclaimer to the letter. The awesome killing power of Flush Gordon, the strongest smelling bleach in the universe, far outweigh the many dangers.’
Alien Smith & Jones claim to be the modern day Bleach Boys after inventing this killer app to clean the Motherships minging toilet. ‘Its true, no toilet can survive a brush with Flush Gordon.’ tweeted the Mothership. ‘If they can sell this, they’ll try and sell anything.’ she warned.
Another Advertisement
Flush Gordon, ALIVE ? and still clinging after 24 hours. This is our new number one killer of number two’s. The scourer of the uni-bend. You can’t beat it, but you can flush it. Drains down holes in all Inkcontinents. To the rim and beyond.
Endorsed by Andy A Hole
Flush – a-ah – cleaner of the universe
Flush – a-ah – it’ll clean everyone of us
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Flush – a-ah – it’s a miracle
Flush – a-ah – cleaning the impossible
Shit Hits the Fan
Posted by: | CommentsAlien Smith launched his solo career today and says its his brother fault.
New solo album by Alien Smith, a.k.a. Loo Tenant from The Wet Shit Boys
The Wet Shitboys finally split after a huge punch-up in Inksville last night.
It’s a sad, sad day for Shit Rock as the two brothers brawling marked the end of The Summer Of Milk and Kindness, even before it began.
It all went wrong before their slot had even started with a furious backstage argument. Alien Jones stormed into the dressing room wielding a jobbie like a axe. “He nearly took my wig off with it.” Smith said.
A witness in the Wet Camp said: “It all kicked off after a few jobbies where thrown back and forward between them.” It got totally out of hand very quickly and their jobbies just exploded. Alien Smith said: “It’s with great relief to tell you that I quit this shit tonight. I simply can not go on working with Alien Jones a day longer.
But last night Alien Jones was insisting to his herd that he would keep the band going without his twin brother. The climactic row also led to Jones throwing a fat one at his brother, which splattered against a young waiting fan and his parents, shortly before they were due to go on stage.
A spokesman for the band said: “We are all just so sad that it has come to such a messy end. Those are big jobbies that I’ve got to clear up and the biggest one hit that fan.
Alien Smith blamed the Wet Shit Boys split on Alien Jones who now sings along with The Chemical Toilet Brothers.
Chocolate Fingers
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